VANITY OF VANITIES

by James Winchurch 

I do not like vanity phone numbers. They are cute; they are catchy; and they just might be effective. On the Internet, we read: Why should I use a toll free vanity number?

"Studies show that using a National Toll Free Vanity number that brands your organization will also trigger an elevated response over numeric and increase the buying behavior of your customers. According to many mainstream marketers, 800 vanity numbers attract more callers who are qualified and have the ability to use your service. Studies show that by using a strong and easily memorized vanity toll free phone number, you can increase your advertising effectiveness by 300% and boost your overall business sales by 30% to 200%. A specific January 1999 study reveals that vanity phone numbers dramatically increase advertising response rates, finding that radio ads with a vanity 800 number drew fourteen times more calls than those with a numeric 800 number."

http://www.notetab.net/html/vanity.htm

Sounds impressive, does it not? It makes me almost want to run out and get a vanity phone number, but I won't. They are locking out the very large segment of the population that is blind or visually impaired, and I am visually impaired. Think about it.

How many people know the distribution of the letters on a phone dial as well as they know the numbers? It does not take sight to dial a phone number. Anyone can do that with just fingers, but how many people can dial a phone word without looking? On most phones, the letters are less than half the size of the numbers. Thus, for some people, reading the letters on a phone dial is difficult, or even impossible. Maybe it's an elderly man or woman who must hunt for a pair of glasses. Maybe it's a diabetic with failing eyesight. Maybe it's someone who is blind, or a person with severe astigmatism, cataracts, or glaucoma. I have ocular albinism, hereditary vision impairment with far sightedness, astigmatism, a "lazy" eye and congenital nystagmus (My eyes move constantly).

Vision impairments are not bound by age, sex or race. They can, and do affect millions of people. These people may want to be a customer, but reading those small letters is a difficult or impossible task. As a result, these people have difficulty dialing vanity phone words, or they cannot, or will not dial them at all.  

To make it worse, some vanity phone numbers even add letters that are not necessary. Most local phone numbers are seven digits long, but I have seen vanity phone "numbers" that add letters just to spell the word they want to spell. 1-800-MISSISSIPPI may not be an active number, but I won't be surprised if I see it one day. You can dial seven numbers with your eyes closed, but eight to eleven letters are difficult for some people. There are some who just cannot do it.

The key to success in any business is making that business accessible to anyone who wants to spend money on its product or service. Make it easy for people to spend money, and the business can succeed. Put an obstacle in front of the customers, or some of them, and the business may still succeed, but not as well. Vanity phone numbers are an obstacle to people with vision impairments. As a result, they must make an effort to dial, or they must call someone else. I do. I can see the letters on a phone dial just fine, but I have to look closely. In other words, dialing that number, or word becomes the focus of my existence. The sighted people that I have talked to say the same thing. There is no excuse for this. I like it better when dialing a phone number is something completely inconsequential, something I can do with my eyes closed or while doing something else. Dialing a phone number should be just that, dialing a number, not a word that may be impossible to read. The glowing response spoken of above is surely due more to the number being free than it is to it being vanity. I am also sure that fewer people would call if they had to pay for it, and I am sure that more people would call in either case if they did not have to read something that may prove difficult or impossible for them.

Yes, the blind and visually impaired can buy special phones with very large letters, or speaking phones, or they might be able to get the government to buy it for them. However, people should not have to buy anything to shop at your store, and they might not want to turn to the government for help. Maybe they just want to buy something that you offer, and you should make it easy for everybody, not just those who do not wear thick glasses, or use seeing-eye dogs. We all have money to spend.

Like a business, all advertising should be accessible to everyone. If you must use a vanity phone "number," please adopt the following guidelines: In a radio ad, use the vanity word, but have the announcer speak the numbers, too. For the sake of those who are deaf, no business should restrict its advertising budget to radio advertising only. In a print ad, print the numbers (a little larger) along with the vanity word. In a television ad, put both the vanity word and the numbers (a little larger) on screen. Better still, have the announcer speak the numbers, too. In this way, you are opening your doors to everyone. For those who use vanity numbers, one additional customer could pay for any additional costs that may result from this change. For the rest, the long-range gain in business will more than compensate for any increase in the advertising budget.

As it stands now, business shortsightedness about people with vision impairments could be costing big bucks. Think about it. As a visually impaired American, I want the same access to you and your products that my 20/20 friends are enjoying.

It is about time we all got to live here, don't you think?